Ecownomiks (lifted from niliwen.livejournal.com)

This was originally posted in and lifted from http://niliwen.livejournal.com/ without permission from the author.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and
then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow
has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with
a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You
sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No
balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the
roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high
bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real
situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part
of a Democracy... .

A SPANISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Your cousin is jealous and wants one, so he starts a
civil war over it!

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to
celebrate.

PHILIPPINES (version one)
You have two cows---but that's because you re not in
the Philippines . You left because
someone has to send money to your relations back home.
They are stuck with three pigs with voracious
appetites-- Mikey, Iggy and Piggy.

Grades

    I need a lot of work for the coming semesters for me to reach a cum laude honor by the conclusion of my degree program next year. I would probably need to have a semestral average of 1.5 for the coming two semester to meet up the cum laude requirements. It would be hard but I have to try.

    The problem I have observed from my studying habits and attitudes is that I always complain before working on anything. This happens every time. In the end, when deadlines come, I could see that no matter how I hate doing these 'stuff' (as how I perceive them), I would still be still obliged to comply by the rules and requirements to pass the courses. In the end, I am the loser. I miss blessings and opportunities that should have been taken advantage of in the name of academic success.

    I dismiss the dogma that grades are not the true basis of knowledge and learning. At the end of the day, who becomes successful? They are those who were able to get high grades. A cum laude title in the resume is an advantage to employability in the competitive arena of industries, office spaces and academes. Who wins after all?

    I am not suggesting that we extremely set aside everything, but still grades are the most important things to worry about in college. It doesn't matter how you gain them, but the question is: would one be able to get them? I completely sound like a liberal.

    There are of course, faults and dents that the universities conceal behind the facades of center-of-excellence titles and traditions. These are in terms of the nature of the learning process (the means of pedagogy) that student's experience. Most students comply. Some do not. Those who don't are still divided to two. They are (1) those who have learned enough to know and articulate the imperfections, and (2) those who are just… like me… whiners. Without a little effort of trying, dissent has been an excuse for not doing anything.

    At this point I consider the fact that, grades are the most important reified artifact of ones whole scholastic performance because, in fact a person can not see every aspect of another in a small span of time. Grades have the formal credibility of explaining scholastic performance. Accordingly, most people we will meet, from different points in our lives, won't really care about the other things because if truth be told, they really don't have to.